You've never felt so alone in your life.
Before, you know.. There were somewhat plausable reasons -  excuses for feeling so alone..
Like not having anyone to share your life with.
But when you do find someone, you expect at least some of the pain to subside or to get easier to deal with.

What you don't expect is for the pain to get worse, to increase and eat you on the inside.

But it does.

And then he doesn't even notice that you've stopped breathing.

He doesn't see that you've gone colour blind.
That you don't see the chocolate brown of his eyes
and instead of seeing the oceans that once lay in yours you see dark gray ash laying in pools filling the windows that should lead to your soul.

He still sees the ocean when he looks into your eyes, and that's what scares you.
You wonder if he's drowning.
You wonder if its too late.


You wonder if you lost yourself because he stopped searching for you.