never could I touch the skin that wilted upon
your chest like my heart desired, for my heart was too fragile
I feared my soul would break, and leak all over your glittering skin.
I did not wish to contaminate you with the death that lived within me
in those distant and dark days. I did not wish for you to be a sponge.
nor my cigarette filter. My attempt was only to protect you from
myself.

what I feared most was seeing me in you.
seeing the bits and pieces of my soul that have been missing
hiding somewhere between your thumb and index finger in that warmth.

my poems repeat themselves in agony
they drag me along with them in suffice
I can't control this
its just that sometimes, I choose not to
but I can't


you move Saharan, I only wish you still did
dedicated to those who saw only the intro
never the middle
never the ending
I kiss your ankles

forgive me.