Before I knew you I thought you’d changed, too Thank you, you proved me wrong
We made plans, they ended It was good we wanted You said you should be moving on
Without any warning I woke that morning When you were gone
Left alone, my plans remain the same: I’m here to do good, it’s not my choice The cards were dealt, I’ll play my hand— I’m fine this is no sacrifice
But since I’ve been here My problem seems clear— A sickness metronomed
The volunteer’s life Is filled with small fights But my disease has blown
Into war with ***** An acid stomach And no connection home
I see it, believe it, that decency persists This place is not what it is, but what we’ve made it We’ve learned to give and take the bad and good But to see ourselves outside ourselves is how we’ll change it
A place with palm trees Dead farms and disease In my students
I saw a pain that They didn’t know yet Would break them as they grew
And these ignored ones These poorly born ones They had no need for hope
Yet before I knew them They gave me more than They took to feed their own
I thought I knew what they could show That good escapes all circumstance But though I help them, I cannot love them My strength’s abandoned romance
And still I’m wretching My sickness spreading It’s in my gut
I see your face in The ripened rice which They have begun to cut
In the evenings I walk what once were green fields Now dirt-blonde husks
That stab the air The color of your hair My stomach churns
Hope is useless And I’ve abused it I think I’ll leave it on its own
But I keep working The sickness lurking Well, that’s how hardship’s earned