something
in the way you say
"i love you"

sounds wrong.
off.
unintelligibly dishonest
     in a way that
          i can neither
               prove,
                    nor disprove.

you bring me flowers,
     kiss my forehead

but white roses
     are forgiveness -
          or at least thats
               what nana said -
and your lips
     are a desert
          when i always
               preferred the beach -
                    but you know that.

subconsciously
     i'm searching, begging, yearning for something,
          anything; obvious evidence
               that this is

         all
         in
         my
         head.

because it could be.

i could be as crazy as i feel.

                          but i have no such evidence,
                                and

     something
     in the way you say
     "i love you"

     sounds wrong.
     off.
     unintelligibly dishonest
          in a way that
               i can neither
                    accept,
                         nor deny.

but i have to
because otherwise

          there is nothing left.