I want reach out but words stick
Glueing to the throat so thick i choke
Cough and fail again
What do I say
What do I do
I've tried so hard to forget
But my eyes are not so blinded by love
Not so clouded with desperation
Fighting to hold on
Failing to show you what could be
If you had but let go
Stopped kicking and screaming dragging your nails across the walls
Of sanity
Def to the what I felt
What actions caused

But the truth
I'm not sure you want
To feel as I have felt
The zenith of my accumulation what I learned from the outside in
Would most likely do you no good
Would hurt you and hurt s me to feel again
For I am removed from it but lost to it

I let you into where others do not go
Not my mother
No not even the other
You know as suridly as I know you will read this
Know this
And burn as I have burned at the realization
You were there in the places that none could see
Saw the raw integrity of all that I am
And you ripped them
Tore it from the socket those fragile things of beauty
Sullied them like they were not worth the delicate wonder they had been
Shining a rainbow gossimer of good humanity the raw feirce nature of what love should be
Nieave as they were meant
Forgiving and piercing they had lament



They but flutter a sad representation
A jaded remorse they have become wishing to be the butterfly that it once was.