Dear the first greatest thing my heart laid eyes upon
You follow me everywhere.
With every step I take you're one step behind me
A handsome burden whom I am unable to detach from.
You keep me up at night when my eyelids struggle to stay open
But shutting my eyes doesn't do any good when everything that was beautiful comes in replaying frames over and over again after midnight.
You, who in a matter of minutes shattered everything that was innocent and happy inside of me
are still the most fantastic thing to ever have graced my life.
What happened?
Maybe if love was a little less menacing you wouldn't have let go so quickly.
Maybe if I spoke a little softer, loved a little quieter, kissed more gently you would still be here.
Maybe if, maybe if, maybe if, maybe if.
Maybe if you still loved me I wouldn't be writing this.
I wish we could have been a little less hostile
I wish you didn't take her places you know id be just to show that you've recovered.
I wish she didn't walk by me in silence with a stare that says I won.
I wish you kept your promises and I wish I could unlove you.
And you tell all your friends I'm crazy yet none of them know how we cried in each other's arms and you said your life was forever changed the night you walked away and never came back.
They may know how to make you laugh and
She may know where to touch you but
No one knows the beautiful human that took me years to discover.
I hope you remember the times where we pretended the outside world was insignificant and forgot that time is a heavy burden to bear.
We both knew somewhere deep within that time and love cannot coexist but if we suppressed it enough perhaps we could be the exception.
And as I reflect on our eternal countdown I realized that maybe that's what happened.
We weren't the exception.
Maybe we simply ran out of time.