I feel smaller than usual.
Not the average quote
"why are you so small"
Not the daily struggles to reach the top shelf..
No. I felt smaller inside myself.
I tried to grasp the feeling and give it meaning
but the more I tried to understand,
the more it slid between my fingers.
I would sit in isolation.
Burying my thoughts deeper and deeper in the abyss I call my mind.
I couldn't get out.
I'd pace, thinking of a excuse of why I act so.
My mind wouldn't repress.
Everything began to hit me at once.
Hard
It worked its way through my skin, my blood, then to my bones.
At that moment. I became small.
Avoiding thoughts of any kind was forbidden.
When you're small.
Your body wakes up small.
And falls asleep small.
You can feel it in every ounce of your body,
burning away every other feeling you were feeling then and now.
I can't say I am okay.
I can't say you'll become yourself again.
Because I'm not.
I'll always feel and always be
*small