I hate this ******* house
These people all but dead
The tree looks nice
But it'd look nicer
If I was hanging by my ******* head
I like this glass
It's served me well
I've drank and drunk to many things
And now to first noel
I smile at the children
And stand up from that tattered chair
I bow before my life
As my audience sits and stares
I smile and I dance
Knowing this season is my last
I yell "This Christmas is the best!"
Today will be a blast!
The audience all quite puzzled
As they wonder what will pass
Then the realization comes
As I shove the gun far up my ***
Joy to the world
The lord is come