A comprehensive list
Of things that people don't say to me
Don't say to her, fat girl
Don't say to her, dumb ****
Don't say.
"You're not that fat"
"You don't need to diet"
"Have you eaten today?"
"Are you making yourself throw up?"
"Are you bulimic?"
"Are you feeling okay?"
"I believe that he assaulted you."
So every day I put on a new mask
Made of lavender soap and my own blood
That I continually drain out of my body
Onto a sheet of paper
Onto a slate of stone
Write it on my skin.
Because every day,
A new version of myself comes to dinner
Will it be the quiet, gentle Sarah who is too far too boring
But well behaved
Or will it be the loud, driven Sarah
Overstepping boundaries is her favorite passion
Doing things the wrong way is as natural to her as breathing
And then she scratches a list of things she has heard
A few times too often onto her wrist
"Fat *****."
"Waste of space."
"No one will ever love you."
"**** yourself."