i would like to say our story was that of
a great love story
except, it almost seems like a dream
i try to remember your skin,
and how it felt against mine. all
i remember are flames. burning.
i try to remember your lips. all
i remember is silk.
i know we shared secrets, thoughts and dreams
but it's all so far away in my mind
i try to reach for it, but my fingers only
graze the surface
i feel the electricity but i can't
find the source
so, when i read your words, i feel nothing
and then i'm sad
for i know i should feel something.
pity. desire.
the words flow through me
but i cannot grasp them
i cannot hold onto something
that never wanted to be captured
i still dream of you.
at least once a week
the moment i wake, i wonder why.
i should be angry at you. outraged
for you deserted me. left me.
when you were mine. when i was yours.
you left when i wanted nothing but you.
but instead of anger, i feel empty.
like a winter land with no life,
there's no life in the part of my heart
that you stole away
you. were so wrong. you thought i was mad.
you thought i didn't want you
i wanted you
but i never told you
so i know this emptiness is my fault
i wish, for one last time, i could see you.
and say farewell, properly
i would take your large hands
and place them on my face
try to remember the warmth you once supplied
i would go on my tip toes, swaying
and kiss your lips, wondering
if the butterflies will surface
once more
and i would smile

yes, i have someone new. yes,
he is wonderful.
but that doesn't mean i don't think of you
do you have someone new?
is she pretty? kind? wonderful?

i wish i knew.

our story is over, i've known for
such a long time.
we should exchange the chapters
of our lives



but i know we never will