you whispered "i want you" in my ears
i giggled
"you dont need to pull off rom-com lines, i do like you"
i knew i am the one who is going to crumble
as you traced my inner thigh with your lips
regardless of the stretch marks i have
slowly closing in my heart
pleasing me.
proceeding on teaching me how to please you.
i couldn't hold myself together because
after.
you kissed the top of my head
cheeks, then lips.
then you held me in your arms
legs tangled under the sheets
your hands playing with my fingers
tenderly
later murmuring goodnight as you stroked my back.
i couldn't remember how many goodnight kisses we exchanged
we fell asleep with my face against your shoulder as i kissed your neck and breathed deliberately on it when you said it tickled.

always had to drive home alone half awake
before your mother wakes up
i will not forget the hostility of your brother
as he eyed me walking in your house to your room.
he was the one who saved us from cops
charging us misconduct by making out in your backseat.
yes my dear.
i am trouble.
maybe you decided that it was too much.
you wanted a sweet, little thing who would not give you attitude and would comply with little nice dates over coffee.
instead of me.
conceited.
who knew her worth and wouldn't settle.
and loves to drink and date multiple guys at once.
i guess i am a *****.
i was willing to be different for you.

you loved me scratching your back.
batman
music
the best resolution on pixar films
and also cuddling.
but
i guess i will never understand why
you never loved me.

i wasn't enough. maybe.