When it hits me.

There is nothing but pain, tears and sorrow,
Which I hide behind the darkness of my face.
It’s so deep and completely real, my awareness,
The truth is shown and I hide disgraced.

It hit me.

Rambling on I try to make sense of it,
Just one more time step back from the ledge.
I try in vain to fit together at least two pieces,
But watch as all the shards slip off the edge.

I’ll follow soon.

Finally some calm settles on me.
It’s so fake and precious in its lie.
The time has come to decide whether to keep going,
Or to stop, to give up and comply.

Should I keep going?

Time and time again I asked the question,
Too no avail, no response no reply.
When do I give up, after how much failure?
When do I fall down, desist and cease to try?

Is it time yet?

Lying in my thoughts I found no answer.
Its keeps hitting me again and again.
So here I am broken and crying,
Writing a poem to try to tell you, to explain.

This is how it feels when it hits me.