They say you should fix it.

It will be hard.

And I am waiting on just that.
But you cannot simply
say the word hard
Like it's just made of four letters,
Like it isn't your whole life
including
all the points in between
the helping.

I gave into suggestion
and I tried antidepressants
that ******* made me crazier
than I already am.
But when I find something
that helps me
I must take secret doses
because
it's not a prescription given
by someone
who doesn't know me.

Don't scold me
I'm doing all I can
to hold on.