Bootlick Tom went out one night
To get his share of drinkin' on
He soon got into a fight
When all his drinkin' money'd gone

Out there on that beer-lit stoop
He saw that it was one-to-four...
"Almost fair" he chuckled as
He knocked the first one through the door.

Number Two was big and mean
with heavy-handed hammer-fists
But BootlickTom took out his knee
And put him in a scissor twist.

The third big bad-*** came in wild
A busted bottle in his hand.
"Well, that's not fair", Ol' Tom remarked,
And knocked him into Never-Land.

But Number Four stood by the door
He knew the outcome should he fight...
"I've got a few coins left" he said
And Bootlick Tom drank free all night.