she used to laugh and
flip her hair (a little brown and a little black and a little curly)
a little bump in her nose bone
curved eyebrows
shy and nervous sass
but depth and curiosity
in her beautiful innocence

and I’d  follow (hesitantly euphoric)
eager to accept
(acceptance
for the first time)

and now she breaks my heart
and brown eyes
are darker than
mud
and claustrophobic panic
engulfs the idea of
her
as spinning out of control
(a top dancing on the tip of a knife)
is not healthy for you