I never asked you for the things you gave me
I never asked
But you didn't even care

If I had asked,
would you have shut me out?
Or would you have given more?
Of your overflowing wine
of life or love or energy
( or whatever it was
  that you folded into my hands
  like the most secret-sacred treasure map )

You would sometimes catch me
In a gaze like a doe
Ask me things
That took time to sink in
Because I was being distracted
By my urge to count your eyelashes

We could never go outside in the cold
Because you were terrified
That your breath would crystallize  and twist inside your lungs
But you loved to see how long you could hold your breath for
Underwater

There would be pauses
As time stilled to take a look at us
To check that we really were still there
And everything around us swirled
Like autumn leaves or glitter stars
Our glances would solidify
And memory struck out to capture snapshots

Everly, I never asked
Not even once, but you still gave
Everly, I can't quite grasp

I see you sometimes
When the sunshine's wounding bright
Yellow, cheerful, heavenly
And I look into the shadows
To find rest for my eyes
I can never keep straight the present and the past
So when I look in the shade
I see ghosts of you sprawled out, laughing, head tilted back, hands splayed

Your sighs were soft
But you only ever sighed them
When your face shone
With a lovely glow of indulgence

We watched Hitchcock religiously
We wouldn't give them up
You said that you liked Vertigo the best
But you never told me why

I'll hold your friendship
In the cup of my hands
While wonder fills up slowly
Where my thoughts should be
I'll peer over my thumbs
To steal a peek at the clear blue crystalline
Effervescent memories

I will remember you foreverly
My word