I wonder if you are blind to all that is not tear-soaked and lying prostrate at your feet feigning panic as they clutch at your hands. My pride is greater than this.

I do not need you.

I wonder if the word neglect has ever rung in your ears with waves of regret? No, not with the self-indulgent sloth of your so-called affection. Pawing, needy, forceful hands that take all I have to give, feeding back only enough to keep the illusion in place, to keep the drugs in my veins.

I don't want this.

I wonder if you were conscious when I was shedding silent tears, my forehead pressed between your shoulder blades. I was fighting to stay because I loved you.

I thought I loved you.