and here you are trying not to stare at what you used to know like the back of your hand. someone so simple yet more complex than the universe and all of its planets. someone who would rather run her car of the road into a tumultuous death than watch the boy she loved go about his life as if they'd never met. yet here you are, burying her as if you never witnessed those parts of her. watching as if you never were those parts of her. but you were and you can hear the bones breaking as you come to realize that she was you and you were her and no matter what you change and how much you change, you were her. no matter how many feet into the deep, cold ground she lies.