There's this picture in my mind,
I can't seem to erase.
It's more like a feeling
and much less like a place.

Retro music playing,
Anticipation for the lights,
But mine is for the beach
and for the innocent nights.
I'm holding onto the hand
of someone I once loved,
a child's sweaty grip
in naivety's glove.
Yearned I for safety,
Guidance and validation
But if that was the dream,
I should have made home
my permanent station.

So when I fell down,
I turned and I tossed,
And cried when I remembered
how my innocence lost.
Like the nightmare
from which you violently wake,
I so stepped into reality
to start the life I will make.

And that's where I am now,
Clutching my right to a choice;
scared to learn once again,
scared to use my own voice.

So I wait for a circumstance,
For a signal, a sign,
And someday I hope
that I'll grow my own spine.

28/12/2012