I don't even feel like a real person, I'm just watching my life go by from a third person perspective. One day I'm going to wake up and realize I'm 50 and that no one has truly loved me in my lifetime.

One of saddest thoughts stems from how much blood seeps from my clothes in the wash, because I can't love myself even though god knows I've tried.

I'm a complete and total fool for thinking I was anything more. I guess it's all my fault anyway. I thought I could hear through your silence. I thought your breaths were more than whispers as you slept. You sold yourself to me and I blindly fell into you. I didn't even stop to think that I might be too ordinary.

If there was a time to realize how utterly alone I am, it's when I fall asleep to the cold side of my bed, shivering from how empty I feel.