life is a lot harder when you have no one to turn to.

why yes,
i have friends.
and yes,
we hang out sometimes.

but that doesn't mean i'm not alone.

saturday night:
we go to a party and get drunk as hell.
then i sober up for a half of an hour before i go home to my parents.
what a great night.
but then it's 4am and i'm shaking in my bed because i'm terrified of my thoughts.
there's no where to run and no one to comfort me.
because if i ever say how i really feel,,
they'll know how mentally unstable i am
or they'll think i say it for attention.

i think of myself as a selfless person
but even i need to talk about myself sometimes.
(i'm sorry for that by the way)
but when i do want to talk you can't seem to find the time.

i didn't mean to bother you i really am sorry i just don't know where to go sometimes.

*i am constantly searching for a corner to hide in but i find myself in the center of a circle that i don't want to be in anymore.