Everyone kept asking how I was,
the looks on their faces dripping with pity.
I hate that look, I always have.
But I said I was fine, I told the truth, I was and I still am.
I never knew you so I have no memories to mourn.
Yet I still need to write this because a simple question,
keeps me from the sleep I crave.
The question is "why?"
it's such a simple phrase, yet it's tearing me apart.
Why would you do this?
Why now?
Why were you alone?
Why were you alone?
Why were you alone?
That's not okay.
No one deserves to feel like they have no way out.
Was it because you're just like me?
Was it the voices that you passed from your head to mine?
I hear them too, all the time, all day.
They remind me of what I really am, over and over.
I'm sorry that they got to you like that,
after all those years of running.
I'm so sorry, you didn't deserve it.
I don't care that you left, I get why you did.
I remember you wrote me once when I was eleven,
asking me to meet you for lunch.
Along with the letter you sent,
a gold necklace with a delicate chain,
it said 'Daddy's Little Girl' on it.
I never had the chance to be, Daddy's Little Girl.
But mom said it was the voices,
that you wouldn't feel the same tomorrow.
So I threw everything away.
I threw you away,
just like you had to us.
I think that's when I knew how alike we really were.
Or maybe it was when mom told me that you scared her,
because you thought you could control the lightning.
I wanted to yell at her and tell her you could,
because I could too.
I wonder what would've happened if I had written back
I'm truly sorry I didn't.
Because maybe I could've told you
that the voices were mean and angry,
that they'd tell you anything to make you hate yourself,
more than you already do.
Then you could've heard me instead,
but you were alone with them and they won.
And I can't help but wonder how long I have
until my voices win.