Sometimes in the night
            When I wake up wet
                       I want to claw against the nonsense
            When I have seen you
                                           placing kisses where they shouldn’t go

Sometimes in the breaking day
            When I come back to consciousness
                       I want to pretend you can scream
            When I snap out of it
                       I act like talking to white-washed walls is full of red passion

Sometimes in the heart-shaped almost-night
            When I am curled onto myself fighting ghosts
                      I want to wash you clean of your dreams
           When I push against you and them
                     I act like the little pieces that are left mean so much

Sometimes when I haven’t seen a clock in years or the moon
                            I want to fit my hands in your stomach
                             When you are sleeping
                            I act like I am half-doctor half lunatic
                              When you couldn’t care less about your bloodline

Whatever I find I’m keeping, even if it’s just enough to be the **** of a joke.