You fight and fight. All you've ever done is fight. Fight for justice.
You are always pressured to be perfect.
To act perfect, look perfect, to be nice to everyone.
To obey everything your parents tell you.
To be a perfect example to your younger siblings.
To get straight A's, to be an excelling student.
To do community service, and help out at the church.
But no one ever thinks that all this has taken its toll on you.
It never crossed anyone's mind that you'd need a break too.
That you'll never be perfect. Not even close.
But no one cares enough to listen. Everyone is too wrapped up in themselves.
Because if you're not doing something they want then you're a failure and
you're causing everyone problems. If you mess up once,
they'll never let you live it down. They yell and scream and tell you
"You're just a worthless *******, who can't do anything right!!"
You're parents ground you, take away everything. You feel trapped.
Like a prisoner. All you long for is to get away.
Start over.
Find someone who understands, you don't have to be perfect. Find
someone who loves you, even when you mess up. You never wanted to hurt anyone,
you're just breaking under the pressure and stress. It's bringing out the worst in you and you hate that.
You hate that you can no longer plaster a smile on your face.
You hate that you don't have the patience for anyone anymore.
You hate that you're turning into a *****.
You wish things could go back to being simple. All the people you go to for comfort,
are only there for their own personal intentions. All the guys you talk to just try to hook up with you.
They can't see the girl inside that's dying. The girls you go to just use your problems as things to bring you down.
They spread rumors around about you, that aren't true. You lose any friends you thought you had.
You are slowly becoming frightfully alone. You don't know what's happening
but you just want it to stop. You want to stop all the hurt and pain.
You cry every night. Tears never ending.
Your face worn from the constant wiping of tears. You start to care less about how you look.
Care less about your grades. About your, so called, "friendships".
You care less about the role model you're supposed to be.
Your health gets worse, your body protesting
to the level of stress you're dealing with. You're in and out of doctors and hospitals,
no one knowing the cause. But you know. You've always known.
Its because people can't look past your flaws. That's all you are to the people around you,
a failure and a mistake. No one ever warns you
about how life and be so cruel. They tell you to
be yourself but people look down on you for doing so.
Never have you done anything to deserve this.
You only want the best for the people around you, and in turn they take your hospitality for granted.
They brush you aside. You don't let your pain show.
Why would you? They'd only use that against you too.
You slip into a depression. You know it's not going away any time soon. Because people won't stop. They aren't going to take it easy on you
cause "Life's not fair. So **** it up and deal!"
So you sit and cry when no ones watching.
You began to believe the things that were said about you.
"Worthless."
"Good for nothing."
"Ugly."
"Anorexic-looking."
"Disgusting."
And no one ever really tried to prove you wrong...
You've never known pain this intense.
You never wanted to know it but you had no choice
You had two good friends that saw everything and
were trying to help you but they were too late.
The pain was too deep for anyone to help now.