Well, if you've gone through part one and don't feel well, don't read any further.......

Ok, I'm jumping back, before I was ten. I grew up with my mom 'sick' (really, it was narcotics) I thought she was mostly tired and sick. I didn't know the truth until I was thirteen. Well, while growing up, I raised my four bros I knew about and my only sister, (until she was caught, I thought I was the oldest of six, found out I'm second oldest of eight) anyway, I really hated my brother who I thought was the first brother I had. Well, I hated him because..........mom actually showed him attention and love........ And for those thinking 'parents love their kids, and it's just the child's imagination of favoritism', well, try being kicked in the back for crying from age five/six until your nine or so......... my mom wanted a boy first, but got me. :/ I tried everyday to get her attention......... she was seventeen when she had me, so I kept thinking, back since I was three/four, I was a mistake........well, I was so deeply upset, I tried to **** my self several times, I tried over dosing about twenty times(each time, my migraine went away, and that was it, hell, I kept taking large bottles of pain killers) I tried suffocation(found out I can breathe even through thick material, beds, pillows, etc.) I even tried poison berries(ps, those things taste nasty, and of course, nothing happened) I think I'm just immune/resistant to death....... never could figure out why nothing happened......... :/ I just gave up, (and from my mom kicking me and calling me every obscenity in the book while I was young and crying, I can't cry for long......... I can cry for a minute or less, but no longer :/...........