You were the boy at the bus stop
your soft-spoken voice
-so conscious and sweet
you were shy, quiet, and a bit un-easy
something about you caught my attention for more than a brief second
your eyes- bigger than mine
i fell into them so quickly
i didn't know it at the time, but soon you would be mine
everything about being with you just felt so right
i didn't have to worry about anything......
other than how sweaty my hands got when i held yours
because of how incredibly nervous i was every time i saw you
slowly, i started to picture everything that was wrong
it was too good
what we had was so superficial
everything about us just seemed like a sham
we didn't fight or argue
it was always just me trying to make everything feel real
i couldn't focus on who i wanted to be because every single thought i had was about you and me
maybe i thought you could make me genuinely happy
i thought i loved you
i wasn't ready for this
i forced myself into something because i thought it would help me figure out who i need to be
i was unfair to you- i made you fall for me when i just needed to be free
now every time i see you, i look away because i can't bare the thought of seeing you go through anything because of me
i took your innocence- i didn't deserve it
and i, sure as hell, don't deserve you