Something has changed.
Something is gone.
Sadness has faded
But I fear so has my self-worth,
My true me,
My control.
I said I wanted to be happy
I wanted to be free of this numbness and pain
Is it worth the cost?
Of becoming a submissive role?
Of taking the underbelly side of life?
Is it worth becoming the person that I was before
Blinded and mute,
To be happy,
To be free (in a sense of the word)?
Isn't that all I aspired for?

But who will I become
If immediate gratification
Is all I chase after?