There's something different about how I feel
It's not really infatuation so to say, it’s a lot of pain
It's not the same as it once was
Before this, I never really had a hope
I didn't have a memory to hold on to because it wasn’t as vivid
Nowhere as near as vivid as this
I guess I missed understanding the meaning of love
I've learned that love is not someone who makes you happiest
But the one that makes you feel the most
The one who can conduct your heart to drum the loudest
I becomes so easy to think on it to the point where his love is boiling and possible and suddenly  becomes so close
It isn't
You are simply playing tricks on yourself again
You silly little girl
He is never as close as you think he his
Never closer to you, only her
So as you down your 4th shot of cheap liquor
Leave the image of him smiling in the toilet
When you wake up you will feel empty and aching
Do not regret anything, remember, being drunk is the only way
To numb his touch from the valleys he made in your back
To numb every hole he burned into your skin
To numb every cut that his gliding fingers made as they traced your body
You are nothing special
And you never were