Jan 2015
He had a lysterene breath, and a shadow across his face.
I could feel his calased hands grab around me. Even reached for my hand and held it.
Thats when the feeling of metal strikes me,
And it sent a message down my spine.
"A few hits of this will wake you up" he says.
He shoves a bottle into my nose while lightly grabbing the back of head and getting a few pinches full of hair.
I inhale wanting to sniff it.
A chemical smell at first. One that ive smelled before.
A slight shock widens my eyes and everything was heated.
My head became woosy.
My knees shaking. Sweat beading down my brow and slowly trickling down the sides of my face.
I didn't want to feel anymore
I ******* myself this wheel,
And buried my sorrows with the Ashes.
It was dark.
I could barely see the outlines of my own arms.
In a heated room with bent knees and curled toes.
I looked down and i could see my clothes.
Just barely, but i saw them.
I wore alot of grey. It blended in almost so well with the night.
Made me feel, hidden in a sort of way.
On the ride home i felt a burnt tongue.
Sweat still on my arms from my encounter.
All i wanted was a shower then. I wanted to be stripped of my moppy clothes and thrown away. I wanted my body to be scrubbed away of my awful deeds of the night.
To think later that it was only a dream crossed my mind alot.
How pleasant that would have been.
I wanted a fantasy to take me away to the beaches of my home city, to bathe in the fresh open moonlight, casting its dark shadows for those with wanderlust.
I wanted to be manhandled. To be felt like i was being taken care of. To be shown how its done.
But when i got there, it only scarred me.
To be glad it was just a dream is a luxury. To only have it be a nightmare. Being touched by an older man whom you thought you could trust. To be treated by force.
The noise of silence beating in my ears roars through my mind.
It was deafening.
But those words of flattery only shatter the roar.
To be said so softly.
And everything change.
Ears perking. Brow squinting. And teeth grinding.
Maybe it was just a dream. I want to think that.
Forever.
I could feel his calased hands grab around me. Even reached for my hand and held it.
Thats when the feeling of metal strikes me,
And it sent a message down my spine.
"A few hits of this will wake you up" he says.
He shoves a bottle into my nose while lightly grabbing the back of head and getting a few pinches full of hair.
I inhale wanting to sniff it.
A chemical smell at first. One that ive smelled before.
A slight shock widens my eyes and everything was heated.
My head became woosy.
My knees shaking. Sweat beading down my brow and slowly trickling down the sides of my face.
I didn't want to feel anymore
I ******* myself this wheel,
And buried my sorrows with the Ashes.
It was dark.
I could barely see the outlines of my own arms.
In a heated room with bent knees and curled toes.
I looked down and i could see my clothes.
Just barely, but i saw them.
I wore alot of grey. It blended in almost so well with the night.
Made me feel, hidden in a sort of way.
On the ride home i felt a burnt tongue.
Sweat still on my arms from my encounter.
All i wanted was a shower then. I wanted to be stripped of my moppy clothes and thrown away. I wanted my body to be scrubbed away of my awful deeds of the night.
To think later that it was only a dream crossed my mind alot.
How pleasant that would have been.
I wanted a fantasy to take me away to the beaches of my home city, to bathe in the fresh open moonlight, casting its dark shadows for those with wanderlust.
I wanted to be manhandled. To be felt like i was being taken care of. To be shown how its done.
But when i got there, it only scarred me.
To be glad it was just a dream is a luxury. To only have it be a nightmare. Being touched by an older man whom you thought you could trust. To be treated by force.
The noise of silence beating in my ears roars through my mind.
It was deafening.
But those words of flattery only shatter the roar.
To be said so softly.
And everything change.
Ears perking. Brow squinting. And teeth grinding.
Maybe it was just a dream. I want to think that.
Forever.
