You know
Today was my first day at my new high school
And it was pretty ****** up
And I don't want to sit here and try to rush myself into a confidence....
Bit it made me realize how much I hate myself
Or how insecure I really am
Or maybe just life idk
But I made me realize the real world we live in
That yea when you're truly being yourself doing you
Yes their will be nice people very few
But yo the ******* and the *** holes
******* over flow
It's crazy ****** up
I has to come home crying
Like the first class I walked in first of all was an all white class
And I could see the pity in teachers eyes
As the students crackled in the back
As they stared like I was an animal
Mentally puting on a facade
Like today was ***
It really was
I didn't go to lunch out of fear....
But like no words
.....it'd life life is flicked up you heard
This was a really ****** up moment for me
And I've never felt so much like ****....
In my life
.....it took me right back to middle school
With James
And all that
It reminded me of my fight for "confidence" for acceptance from *** holes
To stare at me and love me
Think I'm pretty, hot and whatever
But you know that didn't go so well
It made me even more insecure
But I'm opening my mind up
I'm not saying everything's gonna be perfect
......but I'm gonna focus on myself
.....my personal happiness