December, and I feel the Winters breath on me tonight
Blue skies and warmer weather overdue
I wonder, is it hope that has left me here outright
And this glass of wine, that takes the place of you
I drink, and in my mind I am taken back to when
We watched the Autumn leaves, beside the fire
Intoxication takes from me, much more than I take in
And leaves me here alone, with my desire

But as I pour another glass of sorrow in my heart
Another bottle crashes to the floor
I walk upon these shattered rhymes, the ones I've torn apart
So many things my heart must answer for
I shut myself inside again, to keep the cold at bay
Unlock the loss with bottles, that I drink
To think that if I open them, the pain may go away
But it just pours back out of me, in ink

Pictures, that were taken then, show me a different man
The images, just moments trapped in time
I close my eyes to hide from them, but I don't think I can
Forget the memories, trapped in my mind
It leads me nowhere fast, though I travel on and on
To places I have been, with you in dreams
The memories return to me, another bottle gone
Still trying to relive, relieve, unwind.

But tension holds me here alone, caught in the cruel grip of
The reasons that I drink to ease my thought
Holds me to a picture of a girl, a life, a love
And all the loneliness, that this has brought
Allowing visitation, with these nights of what once was
Believing drink, may bring you back to me
Trying to correct mistakes I've made, but just because
I cannot hope to do so with Chablis

I cannot view things clearly through this glass held in my hand
Or see through clouded thought, when I am finished
I pull another cork, and like so many grains of sand
My power to discern these things, diminished
To see the eyes I once had known, that looked right into me
Transparent as I am, and was before
My love I never tried to hide, and hoped that you would see
But hope is lost, it's closed and locked the door

Locked me far away from all I had, or ever knew
Then closed me in to what I know today
Falling Autumn leaves, that remind me still of you
Though love now seems a tired old cliche
To destroy all I am, or all I once had hoped to be
to leave me with the tears dropped from my eyes
My glass is full again, though now it seems of me
We’ve said all of the sad and cruel goodbyes

Goodbye is not the end of love, but the beginning of alone
"I love you" not the start of love, as well
But I’m still thinking, wandering, back to what is gone
It breaks my spirit, that much I can tell
I've told my story many times, to this old photograph
I've tried just to explain, though no one hears
Each bottle that I open, and the others seem to laugh
At drinks I mix, with sorrow and my tears

I suppose that it's my mind, just playing tricks you see
Springtime’s shining leaves now turned to brown
Outside my window, Decembers darkness screams to me
Another reason just to think, and drown
Drown myself in pity, and another shaking glass
Held within this shaking heart of mine
The broken heart of such a man, that's fading, fading fast
Dissolving in another glass of wine

Shrinking with each bottle that lies cluttered on my floor
Dying, as the embers of my fire
Gone is yet another day, but I know there are more
Before the death of me, and my desire
Desire that does not resist the clock, or years of time
Doesn't die with drink that I consume
Hasn't gone away in any broken, dismal rhyme
Or a glass of wine,
that takes the place of you

Dean Evans
11-07-08