Jan 2015
The days ahead can hold no hope, to ease my troubled mind
The kind of sad insanity that I have come to find
I suppose it's only one man's thoughts, these treat me so unkind
And evening only adds to this, no peace, I can't unwind
The nights only are worse for me, as the thoughts come racing in
Sleeplessness, my enemy, companion... my friend..
Just to close my eyes is all I seek, but only then
The nightmares come to haunt me, and to break my heart again.
No one comes to rescue me, or to tell me all is fine
I drown myself each day and night, with another glass of wine
Each bottle that falls empty to my floor rings, like a chime
To usher in another day of bitter, hopeless time.
Dear God, what a shape I'm in!, I shout, but no one hears
Alone I lie in heartache, and another pool of tears
No saving of this mind of mine, to quiet nagging fears
I tell you this my friends, for I have wasted, ...
wasted years.
Although I have no feeling but a cruel and crushing pain
That holds me in, but holds me out to everything I gain
I only wish for one warm falling, rushing summer rain
Though only in this room tears fall, and no one sees the stain.
The stain that causes me to feel my life is not worth this
I watch the world pass by outside I reach, again I miss
Miss the calming happiness that's found, with gentle kiss
I am void in this existence, but my soul does not resist.
Does not resist the loneliness, and the agony of day
I feel as I do not exist, though I find no other way
Death would be a welcome guest, it may be sad to say
But just the thought of praying causes prayers to slip away.
I know that this sounds strange to you, and strange to me as well
Like waves upon a restless sea, my emotions rise and swell
In my mind I think of Heaven, but then I then fall back into hell
How long must I endure this fate?, I have no way to tell.
I throw another piece of my desire against the wall
I've seen too much, and so as such, I watch the pieces fall
Another shattered dream is gone, my dreams are much too small
To escape reality, and the truth, and that is all...
Depression rips and tears at me, to leave a battered soul...
The man that I once used to be, has fallen in this hole
Heart cut with a razors edge, too sharp to feel it go
Gone with no remorse for me, to where I wouldn't know.
So listen to my story friends and hear my dreadful plight
I've lost all that I thought was mine, no will left me to fight
With days now that are tortured, along with horrors night
No power to discern in what is wrong, or what is right.
I rise to sad uncertainty, and spend my days alone
In the shadow of another sunset, and what sunsets have shown
The leaves have fallen, trees are bare, and the wind...
it hasn't blown..
I live within the long and insane,
Years of my Unknown...
Dean Evans
4-16-08
The kind of sad insanity that I have come to find
I suppose it's only one man's thoughts, these treat me so unkind
And evening only adds to this, no peace, I can't unwind
The nights only are worse for me, as the thoughts come racing in
Sleeplessness, my enemy, companion... my friend..
Just to close my eyes is all I seek, but only then
The nightmares come to haunt me, and to break my heart again.
No one comes to rescue me, or to tell me all is fine
I drown myself each day and night, with another glass of wine
Each bottle that falls empty to my floor rings, like a chime
To usher in another day of bitter, hopeless time.
Dear God, what a shape I'm in!, I shout, but no one hears
Alone I lie in heartache, and another pool of tears
No saving of this mind of mine, to quiet nagging fears
I tell you this my friends, for I have wasted, ...
wasted years.
Although I have no feeling but a cruel and crushing pain
That holds me in, but holds me out to everything I gain
I only wish for one warm falling, rushing summer rain
Though only in this room tears fall, and no one sees the stain.
The stain that causes me to feel my life is not worth this
I watch the world pass by outside I reach, again I miss
Miss the calming happiness that's found, with gentle kiss
I am void in this existence, but my soul does not resist.
Does not resist the loneliness, and the agony of day
I feel as I do not exist, though I find no other way
Death would be a welcome guest, it may be sad to say
But just the thought of praying causes prayers to slip away.
I know that this sounds strange to you, and strange to me as well
Like waves upon a restless sea, my emotions rise and swell
In my mind I think of Heaven, but then I then fall back into hell
How long must I endure this fate?, I have no way to tell.
I throw another piece of my desire against the wall
I've seen too much, and so as such, I watch the pieces fall
Another shattered dream is gone, my dreams are much too small
To escape reality, and the truth, and that is all...
Depression rips and tears at me, to leave a battered soul...
The man that I once used to be, has fallen in this hole
Heart cut with a razors edge, too sharp to feel it go
Gone with no remorse for me, to where I wouldn't know.
So listen to my story friends and hear my dreadful plight
I've lost all that I thought was mine, no will left me to fight
With days now that are tortured, along with horrors night
No power to discern in what is wrong, or what is right.
I rise to sad uncertainty, and spend my days alone
In the shadow of another sunset, and what sunsets have shown
The leaves have fallen, trees are bare, and the wind...
it hasn't blown..
I live within the long and insane,
Years of my Unknown...
Dean Evans
4-16-08
