i believe the reason you are alone is because you need to be alone
you are living in a the box of loneliness only peering through the cracks to see when your time will come
when you should be staring at the walls figuring yourself out in the silence that is so golden
you are seeing this as such a curse but it could be a hidden blessing.
for you cannot coexist properly if you cannot coexist with your flesh and soul.
this loneliness is whispering to use him for something else other than moping because he is beautiful and practical
God is giving you this time because he knows you need to learn to love yourself
you are not ready yet because you are not capable of treating these blessings properly without peace within you.
you cannot love if you barely love yourself
this time is for caring for yourself, laying by the window and cleaning yourself up like the house cat
be still
it is coming