after 8 days in a place where my name was unknown i am convinced that i need to leave.
not leave this earth, just leave this town.
i needed to go to a city, something like nyc, los angeles, chicago, london, or miami.
i figured out why, because i need to be alone.
yes of course, this sounds so silly, a city is full of millions of people and you are practically enclosed in a shell of other peoples skin and encapsulated by human noise.
but the city has that thing about it, everyone is alone. you are anonymous.
you will not see the same girl who whispered curses at you in her brain at the coffee shop and the same curious boy who would not take his eyes off of you on the subway.
in order for that, you would need to push yourself to talk to them if you would like to see them again, and you would dare to speak out so you don't loose opportunity.
you wouldn't think, "i'll talk to him next time i see him around."
you will not hear rumors about the girl at the coffee shop or meet her friends and be a part of their life. you could shake her off and never see her again and again.
people were fast paced and running,
city dwellers do not live in family sized homes, they usually came alone or in pairs to chase dreams they are hungry for.
i needed that time alone.
when i had that time, i could figure myself out, discover what i want, plan, meditate, think, breathe my own polluted air.
i needed that.
its why i stay up past midnight while everyone at home is asleep, its the only time i get alone and the city shifts a little closer to me.