if i were a spandexed hero
i'd be 'The Human Romance Novel'
or 'Mediocre Girl'
it would depend on the costume
i don't do spandex
but if there was a cape
a silk cape
i'd negotiate
for powers i'd have unconditional love
but that seems stupid
next to a magical golden lasso
or x-ray vision
or a gold-plated utility belt
with gold-plated stretch band
and gold-plated throwing stars
in the shape of
well... stars