I'm tired and numb
I bow my head and look at the floor
Stained and yellow and tainted with blood
I wash away the hidden identity
You come home with a smile on your face
You see nothing, no trace of me
You see the knife in the sink and pick it up
There is nothing; not one thing
I pull back the tears I so badly want to cry
The ones that I know you want to see
And with those tears I know I can express those feelings
But I'm afraid you won't see them
I'm not myself anymore but you just don't realize it
You pay no attention as I skip my meals and hide away
I'm scared and you don't know that
I wish you could just understand
I feel cold as I run from myself
I am frozen and shrug it away
This blade is the only way that I can compete with this pain
And sooner or later it goes away
I try to scream out but I never can be heard
You don't listen for that scream
I pull down my sleeves and shove my wrists in your face
And yet you see absolutely nothing
This other side of me is trapped
Trying to be heard
I don't want to make the other choice
The one where I disappear for life
I've thought about it, I truly have
I try to tell you but my voice just cracks
I don't want to be sent away to some crazy camp
Can't you understand that I want your help?
Your hands on mine
Your tears with mine
You sobs combined with mine
And yet I feel and hear nothing
Take this burden from my shoulders
Throw it away and chop it to pieces
I want to just stop and give up
But i can never find the strengths to do it
And this pain I finally extinguish
Won't be because you helped me
It won't be because you finally heard me
But because that single thread has been broken
I'm trapped inside and not knowing what to do
I'm scared and Im sad and you don't get it
I don't know my next step or what I might finally do
And yet you still walk around being you
Please hear me
Please see me
Before I do something I might truly regret
And leave everything behind