I close my eyes and hear him breathe
(You never breathe that way)
He laughs and tells a witless joke
(That’s not what you would say)

He puts his arm around me and
His touch is hard to bare.
I try so much to picture you
But still you are not there.

His skin is soft, but not like yours,
With beads my eyes now fill
He feels my heart in agony and
Holds me tighter still.

His scent is strong where yours was soft,
I choke, it shakes my core.
He pulls me close into his chest
I pause… and cry no more.

His heart, oh heart! Oh pulsing heart!
Like yours once beat for me!
I get lost in its rhythmic song
Consistent, strong, and sweet.

I hear it move so similar
And praise God at the sound,
For mine no longer beats that way
Weighed down by hopeless doubt.

And for as long as I can hold
This moment I will grip
Though through my shaking fingers still
Real love proceeds to slip.

And slowly so do I back to
Reality once more
Remembering the love he gives
Is not at all like yours.

For though he holds and though he cares,
One thing is clearly true
No other man will suffice if
My love, he is not you.