I can still taste your name when I listen to our favorite songs.
Except instead of basil and summer time sweat
It tastes like bile and blood from biting my ******* sorry attempt to keep my insides, inside.

I don’t know how this sweeping ache returned.
Maybe it’s because everything around me is some part of you.
We grew gardens out of one another and I’m still watering the flowers that are growing from my fingertips and every other part of me where your lips planted seeds.

My body is now overgrown with memories that seem like weeds
My arms are heavy from trying to hold everything up.


I used to think that maybe if I could expel my insides, I could get rid of this burning sensation that has taken up home inside of myself.
Like a frog who’s eaten a wasp, I’d cleanse myself and push the bad out.
Then again, I don’t know if I want you out.

I guess it’s comforting to know that something inside of myself has grown so out of control, that not even I can get a grip on it.