All these years repressed in demeanor
I was seen as a man who could only take
But in essence my pride was taken away
As I sought to reconcile with my lost cause;
Those were the times when I was urged
Against my will to speak my mind
But little did it occur to people I was thoughtless
Those were the times when I had to believe
That there was a soul in me I had to change
But in effect I knew so little about my potential
-A shadow of my former self
Shoved by those who claimed to be my friends
Pestered by those who urged me
‘Believe in the innate goodness of man’,
All they achieved was to make me believe
I was not the man they wished to idolize.
With my efforts in vain my feelings in disdain,
I embraced the pain that had consumed me.
Why didn’t it occur to my so-called friends?
I was not the man they were only capable of seeing,
For what was seen was the penumbra of the real being
And now when I come out after all my bygone years
I open my eyes with renewed faith in mankind,
What do I see in this brave new world?
-When I’m ready to give no one is ready to take
When my mind has opened up despite slippery slopes and free fall
Like the ‘Niagaras’ of ideas whose spirit was thwarted by delusions
Having formed for my mental conflict an undying resolution
There is utterly no one to share my thoughts with,
Might as well be no one to experience this despair with
The ironic truth of mankind in one bubble of apathy!