To the pigeons that shit all over the world
Congratulations
You’re fucking assholes
You shouldn’t even be allowed in a place like this
And that cold air that turns my mouth numb
Making me slur like I’m drunk?
Yeah don’t think I forgot about you
Why didn’t they stuff you somewhere in back?
You can go fuck yourself like the pigeons
And the sun, so obnoxious
Everyone in this place can hear you
Turning my skin a healthy purple
What a dick
Oh and look who just came in?
The TV
She never has anything good to say
Fuck all y’all
I didn’t ask for any of this
I’d like to see the manager please
My request was simple enough
Some ambiance
Some quiet
Nothing near the restroom
Someone told me I’d get started
With a fulfilling job
A juicy paycheck
With a nice golden sear
Something I could really sink my teeth into
That could really make a difference
To tease my hunger, you know?
Everyone is always raving about the appetizers
At this place
Also, I ordered a drink like 15 years ago
What the hell happened to that?
Something imported
With eyes on the rocks
And some interesting problems please
Oh, don’t bother now
My entrée?
Yes, well, that’s fine
Great actually
Better than I expected
Maybe better than I deserve
Cooked just right
And still piping hot
Sweet and tender
But not cloying
You know how sweet can get, right?
And that sauce!
What’s in that?
I love it
It’s the sort that makes your eyes roll back
Honestly, I could lick the fucking plate
It’s just all those other stupid things
You know?
I lose focus
This place is a goddamn dive man
A hole in the wall
But never mind
It’s fine
The food is good
I just really wish you could tell those pigeons at the other table
To stop shitting all over the place
I’m trying to eat here