you never realized
you were blind. so ******* blind.
i defended you, caught bullets for you, graveled at your feet for you.
thinking everything was my fault
all for you.

you smiled.
                                          one smile.
and gone.
    all i see now is your ghost
everywhere.
your ghost haunts me; making faces and telling me over and over
"you fool. you fool"

i wish i was face to face with you

so i could throw my emotions at you
i would gather them up in one big bundle
and shove them in your face
you would suffocate. you would cry.
you would suffer.
like i had been for so long
i would ask you,
"how does it feel?"
but you wouldn't be able to respond
for the pain would be too great
then, then
finally,

i would breathe.
the baggage will be gone, and i will run
i will laugh at you
laugh until tears leak from my eyes
laugh until my ribs break


if you weren't such a ******* coward,
i would have won.
instead you hide behind
your lies, fake confidence
you're cracking
but i know you won't admit
i'm the only.
the only one who sees

look me in the eye.
admit it
admit you threw me away
admit you never cared
admit that this all meant nothing
and admit...
admit you can't do it.






your ghost is here
with no intention of leaving