I never realized how important "no" was,
Until i couldnt force the word of out of my mouth.
I felt his hands creep down my body,
Touch me in places that have never been touched.
The word wouldnt leave my throat,
It felt like it was stuck,
Maybe his forcing mouth kept it there,
Maybe it was my fault,
Maybe i was to weak,
People tell me there was nothing i could do,
But i dont agree.
I felt the screams inside my lungs
Unable to come to the surface,
Like the cigarettes i smoked caged my terrified screams
I felt my tears fall across my face down to my sheets,
I know he saw me crying,
He decided not to care.
He decided to push harder.
As i laid there, my body cold as stone,
Memories flashed across my closed eyes,
The thoughts of everything horrible in my life,
Comparing to that moment.
Now I'll do anything to get his face out of my mind,
Out of my eyes,
Out of my lies.
Ill drink a little to much, and the face starts to blur,
Ill smoke to many cigarettes letting the nicotine run through my veins knowing its killing me through time.
I'll drink a little more to feel alive,
Because I've started to think i died that day.
I've gone away,
To a far of land,
Where im alone,
In a crowded room,
Seeing his face flash across the wall
Feeling the tears fall.