‘Twas the night before Christmas and in my hand rests a cup of coffee
The holidays just don’t feel the same now that my daughters aren’t with me

A plate of cookies sits idle near the fireplace
My heart feels cold but at least the flames are hot on my face

But the warmth from the fire does not make me feel much better
After seeing that the plate is not accompanied by a handwritten letter

There’s no gifts under the Christmas tree
No little girls sleeping happy as can be

There’s no one to cheerfully sing their favorite Christmas song
And loudly too, even if the words are wrong

There’s no one to write a wishlist to old St. Nick
Or try to listen for reindeer on the roof making their hooves click

Last year was filled with all of these things
Crazy what the difference of one year brings

There’s no one to even believe in holiday magic here
Or, really, believe in anything other than wanting to disappear

There’s no end to this long night as far as I can see
These past few hours have been especially filled with melancholy

I sit in the dark thinking to myself, how could this be?
This place does not feel like a home without a family

I don’t even care if I have to see their father again
If it means increasing the time with my daughters I am able to spend

I’ve spent ‘The Most Wonderful Time of the Year’
Longing and wishing and praying they could be here

I should stop giving my body caffeine, or at least turn on the light
But I know no matter what, the insanity inside me will still fight

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,….. until I almost spill coffee on my blouse

For a knock on the door breaks the looming quiet
It startles me, causing the heart trapped in my chest to riot

Out the window I secretly leer
To see my sister suddenly appear

She bears a large wrapped gift, and a large smile too
Surprisingly she tells me, “I brought this for you.”

Tears of happiness well and begin to fall
As the grandfather clock chimes and echoes down the hall

She hugs me and whispers, “Now it’s midnight.
It’s Christmas! Merry Christmas! It will all be alright.”