sometimes when we see things,
it brings back memories that involve
drunken phone calls
early into the morning,
and sobbing at the rain
as it rolls down your window creating streaks of silver.

at one point i hated writing because
everything that came out was about you
and it made me angry because i already
had you in my head,
so why be on my paper?

i looked up at the Christmas tree
you helped me decorate last week
before you left me alone under the mistletoe
and my eyes burned as the hurricane
started to evolve in my eye,
and all the lights became blurry circles
in my living room.

i know we will never be "us" again
but don't you dare tell me that you never
loved me because that is not what your texts and letters told me.
you said you would never leave but here
i am and there you are
and we are not together on this special night.

if i knew where you were on the map,
i would fold it end over end
until we are two souls
in the same place
at the same time.  *


{m.j.}