i'm sorry that the first breath i bring into this world
is one deep filled with pollution
corruption
fear
& the deep raging of man

i'm sorry that you cant revel in your nakedness
without the piercing of a perverts eye
or the prodding of a Catholics lance
and that you have to grow up, a Amazon
fiercely protecting your innocence
from those wanting to beat against it
until it resembles the tattered skin
of a well worn drum
& that the acceptance of self
is illusionary
in terms of cosmo stars ******* thin and skeletal
your identity, lost in sizes real women don't exist in
or in the way real men aren’t really perceived

i'm sorry that the meaning of friends
will often turn into the meaning enemies
who start rumors that will turn you into a *****
to be shunned while your virginity is vilely forgotten
in the backseat of a make-believe van
or that they
will give you falsities telling you being a man
doesn't really extend beyond the six inches
you hold at night

i cant apologize enough for the things you will find
lacking in others
the sad absence of esteem
that will wilt them away
like dehydrated flowers in the sun
killing all those around you
from ****** of needles, popping of pills, shattering
of bullets, gulletting of food
and yes even  from love, unprotected.
i wish there, you did not have to learn
that high school will be
a prison barring you of your freedom
stripping you of your identity
and ****** privy from your open grasp

i'm sorry that you may come to know
what parenthood is before i have yet
to figure it out
or that when it is time to venture
into the world alone
that college will be a constant search for self
because what defines you will change
daily based on the opinion of others

there,
i wish you did not have to learn
all men are not honest
are not faithful
and that you will be revered
as an object to be had and not held
as an object to be acquired and forgotten.

i apologize that your life will not be
the fairytale promised to you
and that the ethics and morals
instilled will be something
your challenged to swallow
more than the
daily bread and wine
you eat and drink

i would hope that you would know
you are more than the game you play
your brain extends beyond the passing of a ball
and that the easy way to the top is not
flat on your back

i am sorry that
until you are old or i am dead
i must keep a sharp eye and a constant tight grasp
only to prevent you from running head first
into the world

forgive me for making me show you
the difference between
right and wrong
**** and love
honesty and duplicity
strength and weakness
sound principalities and ill gotten gains

i am sorry that
that when you get my age
crows feet will fall from the sky
and land on your face
gravity will pull at your skin
till it swings like pendulums
in the late time of your life
and that pink ribbons will
no longer belong
in your hair
but over your *******

forgive me but i must tell you
not to succumb to the *******
of a doctors tool
but to relish in your old age
knowing that it is your reward
and only proof
that you lived long
and loved hard


i’m sorry that out of my brief moment of pleasure
my ****** brings you into a world filled with so much pain

how selfish of me.

but to think that maybe
just maybe
you came into this world
knowing
and maybe
the first breath i bring into this world
will be one deep filled with purity
candor
valor
& the deep raging for equality

and that maybe
just maybe
my ******
finally did something right
after all.