I'm on a roll listening to those that know my memories, sing to me the sweet sense of remembering all in which I hold close to the very structure that is me. The tape, see-through lies that held me together,( some kind of bond). I was no better then you in the eyes of the beholder, and behold he has looked away. What can I say when all I've said so far is sorry and I'll try my very best, no less for my future. Look my way and get my chest beating again. I opened up on dark days and said all I could say about why I was a mess, the yelling and the strain, never seeing family again when visited by death. I confided in those who embraced my weirdness. I fell harder then a boy my age should, robbed by the notion of what could come. I was too smart for my own good, and fabricated what I wanted, the truth taunting me in a way I dare not describe for sake of my sanity. It truly was you, and never me. Here's to my deteriorating humanity.