1.
You would find me tying knots in my hair.
and the bile would rise in my throat as
my hands shook.
I lost my voice in the heat of all the voices
It shimmered on the sidewalk I

I do not often say the right thing
When I am speaking I
Don’t laugh easy.


2.
When I watch you leave
I am reminded of how we used to fold starburst wrappers
Into chains and string them across the ceiling of my room.
We would be sugar-sick for days.


3.
I would rather fly than drive.
I turn back too often to be trusted at the wheel.

I am known to dig my nails into my own skin.
I never realize until you lace your fingers in mine and we both,
Red-handed,
Are caught in an apology.


4.
You have such a lovely face still.
Do you think of us, here?

I catch myself blaming you for the things I cannot change in myself,
As if you stole something from me.

But I was the one who stayed when I knew I had to leave.
I am the one who keeps quiet when
I should be screaming.


5.
I wonder if I don’t miss the tragedy of it all, somedays.


6.
You would find me sitting on picnic tables
Drawing hearts on my knobby knees.

I would sometimes whisper.
You did not hear me.