One day, I’m everything.
The next, I’m nothing.
I say the wrong thing
without knowing what it was.

Loving you
feels like guessing.

What’s worse than loving you
but knowing I can’t have you?
Not the silence,
not the waiting,
not the ache that stretches across nights.

Even the stars fall quiet—
they know
there’s no sorrow deeper
than holding a love
that was never mine to keep.

Even if the world turns cold,
even if you push me away,
I’ll still be here—
quiet, steady,
loving you
from whatever distance
you leave me in.

We’ve already broken once—
but now I know
what your presence does to my soul.

I don’t think
I could survive
losing you
twice.

I want that feeling back—
the one you only get
when you’re truly loved
by someone who chose you.

Falling asleep
knowing I was theirs,
waking up with their name
still warm in my heart.

The feeling of being protected,
even in silence.
Of knowing that no matter what fell apart,
I had someone
who would never let go of me.

I miss what it felt like
to belong to someone.
To be held,
wanted,
understood—
in the way only a partner can do.

I don’t just miss love.
I miss being loved
like that.

You always left
when I needed you most.

On the days I was breaking,
barely holding myself together,
I searched for you—
desperately.

The silence hurt,
but not as much
as knowing I couldn’t reach for you.
Not anymore.

I’d shed a tear
and open my phone,
my fingers tracing their way
to our chat
like muscle memory,
like hope that forgot you were gone.

You were once my escape,
my soft place to land.

Now I cry in silence,
telling stories
you used to hear—
to no one.

I always wonder—
when I disappear from your life,
does it ache for you
the way it shatters me?

Because I tried—
to forget you,
to replace you,
to let you fade into memory.

But I keep seeing pieces of you
in people who aren’t you.
A laugh,
a look,
a way of speaking—
and I fall apart all over again.

I say I want someone like you,
but deep down,
I know—
there will never be someone
who loves me
the way you did.