Feed me your lines, about darkness and despair
And the tragedy you claim, that your heart still pumps and your chest still heaves and your eyes still flutter

Oh, give me dark, raw poetry and tell me that my blood is beautiful on bedsheets


Are you sure you want to do that?
The way you lace those black words together puppeteers my hands, tying nooses with the romance of it all

Keep going, tell your fellow crying souls that one dance with the Reaper is greater than what comes without the knife

Hear me just this once:
There are fine lines in life, like fine lines on our wrists, so dance along them carefully, thoughtfully
There is nothing tragically beautiful about my mother finding my cold, dead corpse
Will you romanticize my mother's tears in the moments after she finds me?
Tell me that it's all so beautiful, then?
Are you sure you want to do that?
Do you feel like a literary genius now?

Don't hold my deepest horrors in your hands and fold them into stories

I'm in love with the way the world keeps turning,
and letting me fumble over and over again, back into your arms

I kind of like the way you stumble as you catch me
it's familiar, and it's you
and it's your trembling hands I love

I feel as if the gin is never really the culprit with you and I,
we're ocean waves, meant to crash into each other endlessly

and these four left feet stumble back to dance this silly dance
but I like this silly dance, and it's your trembling hands I love

I've been so old, locked in line by expectations
I forgot that love is a $20 ticket to a punk rock show

Sweaty bodies pushing forward, slamming hard,
falling to fall in love with the words of some yelping, grown-out teenager

And we're all drinking ****** venue beer just because it's dirt cheap
and suddenly I remember that I'm only free with ***** feet
and I come alive in mosh pits and I die when I live for paycheques

We're all dripping beads of sweat, making necklaces from our youth
Tokens of everything we love and shedding everything we hate
We'll sweat it out onto the ***** bar floor
We'll keep going until our legs give out, I swear to it

I've never been more free than when I'm dancing to these songs
I've been so old, forgetting that I'm just a punk rock kid, with $20 in my pocket and ****** beer in my hand
Singing songs that mean something, demand change, ooze with emotion, celebrate divine & dingy moments, make me feel that transgender dysphoria blues

I forgot that this is euphoria
I'm not jaded quite yet
Not in this moment
How dare I be
How dare I?

I want you to hate me

I want you to abhor me, detest me, loathe me
I want you to reel at the thought of me
I want you to think of me   the way I think of myself when I can't bring myself to love you anymore

***** and fallen, see me graceless

Baby, you don't need a stethoscope to see that I'm heartless
All you need are those baby blue eyes
They'll tell you the secret
I don't want you anymore
I can't love you anymore
I can't even meet those baby blue eyes to mine

I*
And i guess,
that there is something more to this,
that we are all a cog in this machine,
and I am a good person with good intentions and good breath

And i guess,
that we all have some kind of purpose,
when I die, I will really, really become something,
and I'm a special little snowflake that'll never, ever melt


II
Forget about global warming, friends, 'cause that's just unpleasant!

Come on, tell me
How's the weather? How's your girlfriend? How many likes did you get?


III
Oh come on, life's not so bad!
Believe me, you're not alone!
OH! Jesus loves you! OH! Jesus loves you!

IV
I wish you'd stop smoking cigarettes
You know what they can do

V
Oh come on,
You know how the news upsets me!
Read: Let's just pretend like they aren't real people
Oh come on, that's not fair.

VI
Let's blame the government!
But then again, we are so blessed, we are so-o-o blessed!

VII
All these causes! All these diseases! All these horrible disasters!
Too much to keep track of! I can't be bothered, I simply can't be bothered!
I am a very busy person with a very stressful life, and I can't be bothered!

Did I tell you? My doctor put me on another set of pills last week, but they're making me gain weight. I've gotta change them again. ******* him. ******* idiot! Doesn't he know? I am a very important person with a very busy life! I can't be bothered!

And I'm a special little snowflake that'll never, ever melt


VIII
And i guess,
that I should listen to my mother
and I should stop smoking cigarettes
'cause Jesus loves me
and it makes him oh-so-sad

I'm standing in the rain
I'm standing barefoot in just a shower towel
My feet are in 5 inches of freezing cold water and I'm thinking of you
Thinking of how the water meets your box in the ground while it falls from the sky
So cold, so cold

And now I'm standing in the rain
Hitting me, hurting me, but it's okay
Maybe it'll wash me clean and scrub the dirt away
Because I'm filthy
I'm a *****, broken mess
And I'm drowning in this moment but I like it this way

I haven't been able to put it into words
Since you left, while I was holding your hand
The last skin you ever felt
I can't look down at my hands
I can't look down at my hands
I can't stop shaking.
And I'm not sure if it's the cold or the memory

And now I'm just waiting to be washed away
Hoping tidal waves will form and carry me to where we buried you
And there I'd like to stay     if you'll have me


There are worms at my feet and I can't bear the truth of it
I'm hoping, praying to no one to be washed away
And I can't look down at my hands

"Curiosity didn't **** me"* said the cat,
*"She just introduced me to the wrong crowd"