Don't underestimate how little i can do
don't underestimate how easy i can break

tough isn't a jean jacket and black boots
lipstick doesn't mean **** yet strong
running away doesn't mean my lungs can take it
never looking back really don't mean a thing

don't overestimate me
i'm a real good liar but i ain't good for much else

He had memorized the shape of her *** roughly 6 months before he knew the colour of her eyes

Because you see, he likes her principally for her ***, naturally
And the logical thought process here would be that: this is because he likes himself so much
and he's such a perfect *** himself (the poster-boy for narcissism)
or maybe, he's just thinking with the wrong head
presumably, both

Because what are friends for?

I'm sorry
and simple
and stupid

These philosophies and novels and metaphysical equations dance over me and I reach up to grab them, and they smile and let me hold them for a while
Until their heat becomes too hot and I must let them go
Until next time

And personally, I have a lack of fantastical words and beautifully stringed stanzas
to express these infinitely genius ideas and expressions and equations
that I like to watch dance, starry and complex in the simplest of ways

Personally, I am simple and stupid
And I will write entire trash heaps and garbage dumps
In the passing time
Until my burns have healed and I can once again play
With the worthwhile legions of the dead, still greater than I

Did you know that these sun rays on your skin are thirty-thousand years old?
Nor did I

Firstly, I'd just like to say: *******.


*******.
*******.
*******.
*******, *******.

You are the only ******* one who knows a ******* thing about me
You are the only one who I ever believed really loved me

*******.

Did you really think that after all these years and all this-- that because I wasn't going to be yours-- that you could leave me?
Don't you understand,
Just because I'm better alone and ****** up
Doesn't mean you can leave me?

And everyone here thinks I'm a total ****-up
And the ones who stick around just think that I'm funny or they like the idea of me & bedsheets and I hate them for it
      Backwards and ****** up and completely too emotional,        do you miss me?

      ******* and I miss you.


I wanted to tell you,       my favourite person in the world can't remember my name anymore
She's spent the last month that you've spent forgetting everything about me, trying to remember anything about me

I wanted to tell you,            because you once would mend these things
Now it seems you're the one hammering the nails in


I'm exhausted now but under my breath I'm still muttering,      slowly, "*******."

You're the only friend I ever had and now you take my soft-spoken,     heart-broken,     tear-soaked apologies and you say,      "*******."?


Here and now I'm utterly alone in the dark      thinking of all the times you saved me from it
And how you just left     because I couldn't love you     like we both wanted me to

Of all people and things,      I never thought you'd be my executioner

The floor is dr i i i pping black tar and the air is the bottom of a grease trap
the wind outside sounds... heavy.
it seems air has lost its weightlessness and now everything is being pulled
d
    o
       w
          n

and i look at that typed cliché and i think
"there's no other way"
because weight reigns and it's so heavy it pulls
and structure and pause mean more than what's been said before because   what hasn't?

Feels like i'm pacing back in forth in my mind but i can't help but stumbling
and every time i do, i end up sat on the ground of my consciousness hugging my knees thinking STOP.

because they told me only a belief in their God can get me into heaven but listen,      i don't even believe in myself

and I'm sorry but may your **** ******* you for being so irreverent to my irrelevance
and I whisper to myself, ******* him for being so ego-centrical    that even now when i can't believe in anything I'm waiting for a lightening bolt to strike me down because I question old teachings
and I get it

Listen, I see the good and the bad
the yin and the yang of the Christian dimensions

Listen, I get it

but do you think hell is dark?

because the light's been giving me these sickening migraines and I break every time
yes i  b r e a k  every time
so leave me in the dark
so i stay as whole as i can while i'm here

but listen, i know i could use your prayers
because if he's up there
he should know i don't fear the light
it just plays tricks on civilizations
and i never trust a magician

I miss those days
The days you were so pure and divine
Not because no one had touched you
But because you'd only been touched by someone who loved you

You were so lighthearted and
You never said things like, "Its fine, I'm numb to it now"

You were so pure and divine
That's the kind of beautiful you were
Before those men broke your heart

And now they call you "tragically beautiful"
Because they don't want to break you any further
But they do
They do